May, the deepest place in the world of mortals

In the middle of the mountain, a suona sounded on the lonely heart. In a trance, I saw you holding a red coat, smiling in the blue sky in May, with soft white clouds. Only I was left alone outside the curtain, hiding my sadness for a lifetime.

It covers the eyes with spring redness, but it can't drive away the wound that ripples in the heart;

Away from the downtown, the township courtyard tied my front edge again, and suddenly I dreamed that you were standing at the entrance of the alley waving hard to me, smiling hard, and crying hard

【1】 The melancholy in the mirror

Like May, more from the love of that person. Although love has become a distant past, the scars caused by love have never been lightly erased, and are deeply embedded in the soul. Therefore, loving May as always seems to have nothing to do with love, let's say it is a sequela of love!

The gentle wind outside the window brings the noise of the city in the daytime, and the sun is everywhere, warm and genial. The first feeling when I got up from the bed with sleepy eyes was that the soft light was spreading infinite warmth and comfort, and it must be a good day for washing clothes.

He got up in a rustle and tied his hair behind his head. Then he chose an old skirt with black background and white spots to cover his body in the wardrobe and stood in front of the mirror and stared at himself.

In fact, I don't like to make too much contact with the mirror. It is simply used to straighten my clothes. Because I don't like making up, I naturally have less communication with the mirror. Moreover, I always thought that I was just a plain looking woman, so I didn't have to do the accidents that these beautiful people do.

However, I suddenly felt the urge to look in the mirror today.

In the mirror, he is still ordinary as usual. After a few more glances, he seems to feel much older. The eyes are no longer clear, and there are some disorderly emotions hidden. They are chaotic and dull. The corners of the eyes have more fine lines. The face is yellowish, and there are light spots on the cheeks. The corners of the lips are no longer so ruddy, dry and white. It is obviously lack of nutrition and water.

The only thing that hasn't changed is the body, which is as thin as ever. Although she is already a mother, her waist and legs are still thin in the past, and her lower abdomen is flat. This may be the only favor from heaven, but it is also one of the ordinary!

A feeling of sadness rose from the bottom of my heart, and I turned away from the mirror.

Yes, everyone has a love for beauty, not to mention a young woman who is still wandering in her youth and even yearns for love?

Previously, I always thought that love was also related to beauty, and happiness naturally was also related to good looks? And more than once, he felt inferior and sighed because of his ordinary. It was not until I met an ordinary young couple that I gradually degenerated into such a silly and funny idea.

They are a young couple, probably only 30 years old. The education level is not high, and the appearance is even more mediocre. My wife used to work with me for a period of time.

She is not tall, about 1.5 meters in height, plump but not lazy, which makes people feel pity from her back. But her appearance was so plain, even ugly. The slightly long and narrow cheeks were covered with small black spots, and the dense black was covered with a layer of powder. It looked like a naughty child had dotted many black spots on her mother's pink skirt, which was in sharp contrast to the color of her neck. With the red and brown hair lining, it's really tacky.

Her eyebrows are two red willow leaves painted on purpose. Her eyes are only one slit, and she is almost closed when smiling. The lips are smeared with bright lipstick, and the teeth are arranged irregularly.

It was such a beautiful woman who spent every day in happiness. They have been married for nine years, but their old love is still the same, or even more so. The man who looks tall and unimpressive still regards her as a treasure and takes great care of her.

Every day on duty, the man will appear at the door of the unit on time, standing quietly, waiting for his woman to run past. The woman always ran to him. He smiled and put her on the back seat of the bike. The woman hugged the man from behind and disappeared in the busy traffic.

It's like this every day. It's windy and rainy all the time.

But each short day of separation seems to them like a long time of separation. Men will call to talk with women one after another. The content of the conversation is not very clear, but from the happiness of women's faces, it can be seen that men must be saying some sweet love words.

At that time, working with her became my ordeal. Her happiness made my eyes moist and jealous. I do not want to see the shadow of their love, nor to participate in her happy story, so I avoid her, because she makes me envy, but also makes me love my loneliness.

Loneliness, or missing, can't stand being provoked. But such an inconspicuous woman satirized my existence, my loneliness and my complaints with her happiness thousands of times more than mine.

I always thought that today's loneliness and loneliness, or your leaving, are all due to your plain appearance, so happiness does not want to be involved with me, and love does not want to be in the same bed with me.

But after I witnessed the love between such an ordinary couple, even I began to hate my dirty ideas. No wonder happiness passed me by as a woman with no confidence?

It turns out that happiness is only related to happiness, not to appearance, nor to status and power. For so long, I have been looking for love and happiness in a wrong field. How can I achieve it?

So, will the happy time I lost come back because of my awakening?

The answer is no. In addition to self-confidence, happiness, in my opinion, is more a product of fate and a kind of cultivation. Naturally, it has nothing to do with being ugly, which seems more appropriate.

Then, what I once lost was just because fate had ended. We only learned to cross the same boat, and only learned to wipe our shoulders, instead of learning to sleep together.

So, how can you get it if you can sweep away the country?

For a moment, I felt lost and missed the moment when I climbed up my eyebrows along the mirror. I thought I would be indifferent. However, in this quiet morning, some emotions are like flowers in spring. They are just about to bloom, but they are still in the mood. The lamentation of.

【2】 Time in the windlass

It is another May, how many times and how much Acacia have passed. But this exciting May never forgot to come back, just like the windlass waiting on the well, with many dreams and memories, one after another.

May is beautiful and sentimental.

The willow catkins are flying in the blue sky, like snowflakes that will not melt, beautiful and romantic as the story of flying in a fairy tale.

May is also the season for the fragrance of locust flowers. The tall branches of locust trees are full of snow-white flowers, clusters of which are close to each other. From a distance, they are more like crystal snow on the branches when the wind blows.

Waves of fragrance filled me, accompanied by petals of flowers, flying around my whole body, which realized that the dazzling brightness was not crystal snow, but the color of flowers.

I remember that in the May when we met, there was no locust flower, but there were fluffy catkins around us, which seemed to be blessing. In retrospect, more should be mourning!

Those willow catkins like snow are flying in my mind, flying her tenderness, flying her aura, flying her flawless, flying her wanton, flying your eyes looking at me, and the gloom of my forced laughter.

I still remember the one that fell in my hand, maybe it was the one that infected my sadness, became so sad, so depressed, and turned into a sorrow in a moment, better than the sorrow of autumn.

It turns out that it only takes a moment to love someone, but it takes such a big price to forget someone.

The wind of May came slowly, and melancholy blew up too many memories and fragments of our love.

The early morning sun passes through the gap of the bamboo curtain. The shadow and shadow table are like pieces of gold sprinkled all over the place, and also like our love, broken into shapes and broken into no order.

I know, deeply know, that your siege will cut off all the yearnings we ever had, all the appointments, and I can no longer see the yearning you wrote for me between the lines;

I know that your besieged city will cut off our past and ring your happiness, and your eternal cigarette butt at night will no longer burn my face;

I know that your breath will not breathe in my unique beauty, and you will not drink the cup of sorrow I left for you when you raise your glass;

I know that you will not write about love and resentment, nor read Tang Wan, nor will your Assange sing for me until dawn;

I know that you will not be alone in love with sadness, will not be lonely to think of that beautiful May.

Everything is gone. You have your life, and I have my direction. This life will not be connected, nor will it be crossed on that day. Only in the space of different degrees of missing, can I watch you smile, watch you worry, and watch you grow old

【3】 Emotions follow

Pulling himself back from the wave of memories, he remembered the laundry.

I took some clothes and put them in the sink, squatted half by the water pipe exposed in the sun, and began to play with colorful detergent foam floating in the water.

This was my favorite game when I was young. My brother and I took a hollow wooden tube and blew hard at a basin of washing powder water. I didn't feel dirty or boring, but I was very happy. At that time, my mind was just like those transparent bubbles with colors, happy and clear.

At this moment, not because of happiness, but because of endless sadness.

My back was burned by the sunshine in May. Loneliness was like a baby, lying on my back and melting with the sunshine, which only made me breathless.

I began to scrub every piece of clothes to make myself tired, and I also wanted to make the baby on my back as tired as I was. I would go to bed early and forget the pain of memories.

The sun in May is already very hot, and the washed clothes will dry in a short time. The clothes are warm, with the temperature of sunshine, and the fragrance of washing powder mixed with the taste of sunshine. It is very happy to hold them in my arms, like the taste of love.

Yes, it's the taste of love, the taste of May, the taste of happiness, the taste of missing, the taste of you

Raise your head to prevent tears from falling.

The sky is blue and ethereal, and the quiet clouds are floating with romantic dreams, as white as cotton.

The wind gently brushed the cheeks and forehead in the gauze clothes, warm, like the feeling that your soft hands once wiped tears for me. The gentle dance of hair interferes with my view of the sky, and brings me into the magic space. I see the blue sky is divided into blue lines, like a river flowing in one direction, surging in waves, with tiny loneliness. The clouds change their postures from time to time. They look more like the waves stirred up by the sea. Some are cute and naughty, while others are gloomy and silent

Suddenly I miss you. My heart aches like a crack. That blue, that cloud, that beautiful but lonely color and remoteness make my heart empty and terrible.

You suddenly leave this empty place, where the desolation and emptiness grow crazily and extend to the heart.

But this fragile heart has been pierced with countless holes, and the pain is unspeakable

The thin and soft skirt was skillfully attached to my body by the wind, soft and gentle, comforting me, like a mother's hand, like a child's tiny hand. He looked down at his own shadow. It was thin and slender, like the beautiful ink silhouette in the painting, exquisite and exquisite. I think this should be the most beautiful time for me, but it's a pity that I only enjoy myself.

Emotions are like shadows. As long as there is sunshine in the field, shadows are always inseparable, more persistent and infatuated than all feelings in the emotional world.

What's the matter today? I tried my best to contain the attack of memories, but I found that when I looked up and looked down, there were long shadows of memories everywhere, swaying, bright and countless, just like drifting on the sea, endless blue.

You can't escape. Then indulge, indulge memories, indulge thoughts, indulge all the things that have been lost again to annoy, perhaps, it is also the reason that those who miss me in the past!

【4】 Meeting in memory

Wearing your old clothes brings out your breath and the little things we used to be together.

That May, that afternoon when I met you

The warm wind is blowing my tied hair, and I casually walk in the street where you may appear according to the idea of fate.

Think about every word you said and every joke you told. I can no longer remember the content of every joke you told me, but no matter how hard I try, I can't forget your narcissistic and arrogant laughter in your own jokes

In those days, happiness was like a romantic evening, our smiles, our hair and eyes were all dyed gold by the setting sun, and our vows were also inlaid with the most dazzling colors.

That time is our most precious time, which is hard to change.

I thought that such a deep color would not easily lose its color, but time is really a great refresher, and all the beautiful things are mercilessly attached to a pale, deep memory mound.

Thinking of that encounter, I feel like a world away.

When I saw you slowly overflowing from my sight, I remembered you said that fate is determined, and every encounter is not accidental.

I don't know, it is fate that is so fragile as you say, or I deliberately seek this lock that has already broken my heart.

Maybe you really don't know where I happened to be.

Maybe you really thought I was just passing by.

I should, perhaps I should really tell you that I have been standing for a long time, for a long time, in that street.

I should also tell you that I just want to be lucky to see you here and walk into my sight from the bustling crowd.

My name in this noisy street suddenly, kindly, vicissitudes of life ring up, ring hurt my heart, blurred my eyes; The corner of my trousers was crooked, and my high-heeled shoes were shaken; Sound my footsteps, my left and right; Wake up my love, my missing, ring up all of us

So many words in my throat, so many tears waiting in my eyes, so many smiles buried in my lips, so many blessings in my arms, so many regrets in my hands

After all, just let you smile and float past my eyes, leaving only a faint smell of tobacco in the wind. Looking at you gradually becoming a dot, and then being sucked by the quicksand of the world, I have no courage to say a complete word with you.

I think this is the feeling of reunion, nervous, strange, and afraid.

I thought I could find some memories to commemorate our parting, our love, the carnival when we were young, the grave you dug for me, and the coffin I left for you.

After I was worried, I realized that I was already in tears. What I remembered was not only a yellowing memory, but also a vast ocean of sorrow and hatred, which was a funeral.

It's all the corners we've chased, all the moments we love each other, all of you, all of your songs, all of your poems, all of your words, all of your emotions.

Those moments, at that time, thought they would be permanent.

The stars, the moon, the wine mixed with happiness, those charming cigarette butts, a love letter, a lock, a pair of frames, a call, a response, gone away, as far as the sea thousands of years ago

【5】 Meet again in the deepest world of mortals

You chose to say goodbye to the past in May when willow catkins were in abundance. I also heard the parting words of spring in the years when willow catkins were in abundance, saw the withering of flowers, saw the lightness of your waving hands, saw my tears flowing into my heart, and saw the strange shadows of our souls when we walked left and right.

You who once held a smile, I held a smile.

How could it break into such a shape? How could depression become so painful? How can you act like walking in a field? Did I remember the wrong lines, or did you play the wrong process?

No, it's me. It's me who acted fast, who trampled on your feelings, who profaned the dreams you had hoped for, and who made a wrong promise of fate at the end of the sky.

A rare coincidence in the player, "Reunion in the deepest world of mortals", was soft and sad. I suddenly felt that I could see the continuous notes winding around many bends and drifting away from the window lattice, just like a soul.

In an instant, I felt sad all over the place, even every note, every breath I took was sad.

That kind of sadness has nothing to do with the words of sadness. It is a synaesthesia, which can be seen by the eyes and smelled by the nose.

Hearing it over and over again is like listening to a touching story.

Because of this song, some words could not help running out of my mind, surrounded me, filled with air, and smiled:

On the night when flowers bloom, the crescent moon smiles slightly, and the wind dances gently, I stand alone by the river of dreams, looking up, and wondering if you will sail to the shore where I am waiting.

The wind in May wrinkled the wave heart, rippled open in circles, and there was no side of loneliness, only a single moon, haloing the surrounding clouds, emitting a faint light.

The past, tied to the incense, has already burned into ashes, fragrant, riding a wind, curling around your shoulder and definitely passed by.

You said that you were tired of waiting. You said that you would come back when I wanted to add fragrance to tea. Only I was awakened by your bright smile in the painful nightmare.

Waiting, stranded in a rocking chair, tears ring the wind chime in front of the window, dragging the long soft, swaying the shadow of the past, shaking the long setting sun.

Waiting in the ancient moon palace, I count the years that have passed over and over again. If life is endless, where the rising sun rises, where love goes, and deep in the world of mortals, I will meet you again, I will meet you again.

Finally, you are tired of the world of mortals and come back quietly in May, thousands of years later.

Take my hand, laugh, and my tears flow happily.

You laugh at my infatuation, I laugh at my infatuation

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