Once, it was the pain I couldn't put down

Once, it was the pain I couldn't put down In 2010, I graduated from college. At the strong request of my parents, I returned to Qianjiang, the place where I had most of my youth memories. However, my girlfriend Lily did not come back with me, but stayed in Guangzhou. My biggest dream was to marry Lily after graduation, and then set up a home for us in this small town. Unexpectedly, when she was about to graduate, she chose to break up with me and stay in Guangzhou because she felt that I could not give her the future she wanted. After coming back, I spent a long time in the bar every day except at work. I hope this can make my heart hurt less, because I am afraid that when I wake up, I will recall what happened in our years together. Sometimes, I think Lily is an invisible wound in my heart. She always hurts me carelessly. One year later, I met Xiaofan. He is my colleague's sister. Once when I was drunk, I mentioned my past emotional experience to Xiaofan. Maybe it was the natural sympathy of girls. Since then, Xiaofan has been silently beside me. My ex girlfriend married, and I married Xiaofan in a flash On the 2011 National Day, I received the news that Lily was getting married. Although I had always been prepared, I was still worried about gains and losses. The girl who had been with me for 3 years married someone else in the twinkling of an eye. I went when Lily got married, and I left after giving gifts. I didn't dare to attend her wedding. I'm afraid I can't help making a scene of the wedding. On the way back, Xiaofan held my hand tightly and didn't speak. At that time, the only idea in my mind was that the person I loved most married someone else. What's the difference between whom I married? So I told Xiaofan that I wanted to marry anyone. Anyway, it is to complete the task of being the Son of Man. Xiaofan smiled and said, "Then you can marry me. I like you anyway, so you won't have to find another partner.". At that time, she shocked me a lot. Although she said it jokingly, I knew she was serious. After that, I was finally convinced by my colleagues, who helped me to persuade me intentionally or unintentionally. More than a month later, Xiaofan and I also entered the wedding hall. After three years of marriage, I only brought her harm After marriage, I put all my mind on my career, and only thought that one day I could be successful. Let those who once looked down on me regret that they neglected my wife Xiaofan. I always go home late every day. Most of the time when I go back, I see Xiao Fan sleeping on the sofa and the food that has been hot on the table for many times. In order to attract business, I often go back drunk. However, every morning when I wake up, I lie in bed clean and tidy. Xiaofan occasionally complains about me and asks me to accompany her more. I always said that men should put career first. In 2012, I went to Guangzhou for a business trip. I had a meal with my college classmates, but Lily also came. After returning home, I didn't tell Xiaofan about it. Unexpectedly, she saw the photos from QQ space and insisted that I went to Guangzhou for Lily. At that time, I was angry and felt that she was invading my privacy by secretly posting on my QQ. For this reason, we quarreled for the first time after marriage. For a long time, I deliberately didn't talk to her and ignored her silently taking care of everything around me every day. Regret to find the most precious lost In 2013, Xiaofan was pregnant, and I was very happy. At the age of 28, I will soon become a father, which makes my family very happy. At that time, I wanted to put down my work and accompany her well. Unfortunately, I was following up on a big project of the company at that time, and it was basically impossible to change people. Xiaofan has a bad case of pregnancy and vomiting. In addition to going to work, she is as thin as a bone. One night, she was out shopping with her friends and asked me to drive to pick her up. At that time, I said I would pick her up after the meeting. Unexpectedly, I was still busy at 10 o'clock. Xiao Fan was impatient and took a taxi home. Unexpectedly, I fell down when I got off the bus. When I arrived at the hospital, I was greeted by her brother's fist and her unwilling to talk to me. After the child disappeared, Xiaofan returned to her mother's house. In her heart rending cry, I found for the first time that I was such an asshole as a husband. She never felt safe with me. Before long, we divorced peacefully. Looking at the empty house, my heart ached beyond measure. Later, I accidentally found her diary in the drawer, which recorded every bit since we met. The more I looked down, the more painful I felt. I owed her so much. I remember every birthday and the surprise she gave, but I never remember her birthday. Even when she was pregnant, I seldom cooked for her. Most of the time, she is on her own. I lack too much care for her, which makes her become a woman who only depends on herself. I tried to understand her again, but I didn't have the courage. I was afraid that she could not forgive me, and I knew that I had ruined her yearning for love. Now she has been away from me for more than half a year. Occasionally, we met in the street, but we were like strangers. Now, I can only walk with the once beautiful, no expectations.